I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
