I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
