STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
