No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
