no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
