Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
