is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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