I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
