We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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