The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
