Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
