I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
