i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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