I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
