And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
