There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
