HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You ruined the universe
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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