I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
