At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
