Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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