It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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