Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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