he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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