Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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