Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
