yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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