For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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