Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
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