remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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