just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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