Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
smell my finger.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
