does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
