i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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