i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
