This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
