PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
