Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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