Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
