He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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