i always forget guys have bellybuttons
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize