Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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