you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
