he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Randomize
