marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
