Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
