so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
