we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
