She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
