do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
