the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
