I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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