i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize