Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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