yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
