Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
