Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
