Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
