How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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