I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
