I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
